La raison du sentiment d'absurdité qui m'envahit, c'est que mon frère s'est suicidé le 1er juillet dernier. Il avait trente ans. En l'espace d'un instant, ma vie, notre vie, sa vie, fut renversée. Mais qu'est-ce que représente la vie après un suicide ? Difficile de répondre. Souvent, elle ne représente plus rien. Du moins, c'est difficile d'en trouver le sens.
Tellement de questions se posent alors. Pourquoi sommes-nous là ? À quoi ça sert tout ça ? Qu'est-ce qui arrive après ?
En l'espace d'un instant, j'ai perdu mon frère, mon ami, mon complice. Depuis, je le cherche constamment. Le pire, c'est que je n'aurai probablement jamais aucune réponse pour soulager mes questionnements.
Ce qui est absurde, pour moi en ces pénibles moments, c'est de savoir que je suis là, d'une certaine façon mais sans savoir réellement laquelle, et que mon frère, lui... Je ne sais pas, je ne sais rien.
L'âme existe-t-elle ? La réalité est-elle uniquement chimique ?
Tant de questions, toutes sans réponses absolues, que des suppositions... Mais qu'en ai-je à faire des suppositions ?
Voilà ce qui est absurde.
Tellement de questions se posent alors. Pourquoi sommes-nous là ? À quoi ça sert tout ça ? Qu'est-ce qui arrive après ?
En l'espace d'un instant, j'ai perdu mon frère, mon ami, mon complice. Depuis, je le cherche constamment. Le pire, c'est que je n'aurai probablement jamais aucune réponse pour soulager mes questionnements.
Ce qui est absurde, pour moi en ces pénibles moments, c'est de savoir que je suis là, d'une certaine façon mais sans savoir réellement laquelle, et que mon frère, lui... Je ne sais pas, je ne sais rien.
L'âme existe-t-elle ? La réalité est-elle uniquement chimique ?
Tant de questions, toutes sans réponses absolues, que des suppositions... Mais qu'en ai-je à faire des suppositions ?
Voilà ce qui est absurde.
21 commentaires:
mélanie,les 3 textes que tu as écrit son tellement profond.Tu sais,la vie elle même est une question que personne ne pourras jamais répondre.je suis sur que si une personne de ton entourage pouvais te répondre sur une seul de tes questions,se serais une personne qui connais tout de la vie.mais malheureusement je ne connais personne qui a une telle capacité.Pat n'est pas mort pour rien.personne ne meurt pour riens dans la vie, il nous faux tirer des lecons et apprendre des textes et de la vie de pat. sur ce prend soins de toi et tu sais qu'il va toujour avoir une oreil pour t'écouter si tu as besoin,ou que tu sois.
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